


Isogai NO-

by squidballsinc



Series: Hanahaki with a twist [5]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Hanahaki Disease, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, The Author Regrets Nothing, hanahaki with a twist, i don't know how but, oh well, this is angstier than i was trying to go for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidballsinc/pseuds/squidballsinc
Summary: Isogai has developed Hanahaki disease, this has the added side affect of making him puke up themost expensive flower in the world.Aka. I wrote (yet another) Hanahaki au where I make something happen and see if I can spin the genre into comedy from that but this one somehow turned out semi serious? Oh well who cares, enjoy!
Relationships: Isogai Yuuma/Maehara Hiroto
Series: Hanahaki with a twist [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674982
Comments: 14
Kudos: 101





	Isogai NO-

**Author's Note:**

> The working title of this fic was: "We Know You Have A Family To Feed But Literally No One Wants You To Do It This Way"
> 
> At the time that I'm posting this there are currently no Hanahaki au's listed in the AssClass fandom in AO3... so...
> 
> Vietnamese translation by dokidoki22194 on Wattpad!   
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/238944888-trans-maeiso-isogai-kh%C3%B4ng
> 
> anyway I hope y'all enjoy!

“Maehara! Can you please come up and answer the question on the board?”

Isogai watched as Maehara walked up to the board, admiring his beauty from a distance. He was one of the most attractive people in the class, how could he not? As Maehara wrote down his answer, Isogai wished for nothing more than to be up there next to him. To maybe even give him more than a halfhearted smile for getting the question right.

But of course he couldn’t, he’d known Maehara for years after all. Everyone knew about Mahara’s extensive list of ex’s. Isogai had met all of them himself. So he knew firsthand just how hard Maehara was to keep.

And he watched Maehara walk back to his desk.

And he saw the joy in his beautiful  _ golden  _ eyes.

And

And…

**_And he could do seemingly nothing more than watch as bloody flowers fell out of his mouth_ ** .

Everyone froze, unable to comprehend what they were seeing.

Until Isogai coughed again, Maehara rushing to his side.

“What?!?!??!!”

“Holy sh-”

“Isogai!”

“Oh no oh no oh no-”

“Sensei do you know what’s going on?!??”

Korosensei unfroze and started to hover around Isogai, cleaning up the blood while comforting him and attempting to explain the situation.

“It seems that Isogai has come down with a case of Hanahaki disease, a disease which causes it’s patient to cough up bloody flowers. The disease is caused by believed-to-be unrequited love. But don’t let the innocent cause deceive you, if left unchecked then it can prove to be deadly”

“How do we get rid of it??” Maehara asked, concerned because Isogai  _ was still coughing _ .

“Yes well, the disease is very rare and only has two known cures. The first being for the love to be returned, the second being surgery to remove the feelings.”

“Really? So you can just give the surgery and then-”

“No.”

Everyone stopped and turned toward Isogai.

“No?” Maehara shouted, “Why not?? If you keep going like this then you’re going to die!”

Isogai shook his head, “I treasure my love more than my life. I’d rather spend my final days like this than give it up.”

“Then can you at least tell us who it is?!??” Maehara pleaded, getting increasingly desperate.

Isogai shook his head.

“Well there has to be some way right?” Maehara begged, looking around at everyone’s dejected faces.

That’s when Ritsu chimed in, “Well, from my research the type of flower can help identify the object of a patient’s affections.”

“Really??!? Ok then, what kind of flower is this?” Maehara exclaimed, picking up one of the bloody flowers.

“Oh that is a paphiopedilum rothschildianum, more commonly known as the Rothschild's orchid or the Gold of Kinabalu orchid. It is widely regarded as the most expensive flower in the world.”

“Wait hold on a second,” Isogai cut in, “did you say the  _ most expensive flower in the world _ ?”

“Yes! My research shows that a single stem can go for as much as $5,000 on the black market!”

Isogai stopped, and stared at the flowers littering his desk. $5,000 for a single  _ stem _ .

Maehara turned to look at him, sensing that he was about to do something, “Isogai…”

Before anyone could grab him, Isogai grabbed an armload of flowers and ran out of the building as fast as possible.

\- - - - -

Korosensei turned toward the class, “It seems that Isogai is determined to hold onto his disease. That means that the best way to cure Isogai would be to figure out who Isogai is in love with and get them to confess.”

“Okay, Ritsu do you know anything that may help? Like the language of flowers or something?”

“Let me look.” Ritsu replied, “Hmmm, my research shows that there is no meaning for the paphiopedilum rothschildianum. However, orchids in general are known to represent love, luxury, beauty and strength.”

“Ughhh but that’s almost no help at all!”

“What about the names of the flowers? Maybe that means something?”

“Hmmmm so the Rothschild’s orchid and the Gold of Kinabalu orchid…. Rothschild…. Gold… gold? I got it!” Fuwa announced! “Gold commonly represents treasure! So whoever Isogai likes must be his treasure! Does anyone know who that may be?”

“Huehuehue, fear not my students! Your good old sensei is here to your rescue! From my *ahem* research, I have gathered that Isogai treasures two main things. The first being his family. But the second happens to be, drumroll please, Maehara!”

Maehara gasped, stunned.

While everyone else looked mildly disappointed.

“Ah it was so obvious”

“Well you know what they say, hindsight is 20/20.”

“Yeah but I’m a little upset that it took us  _ this  _ long to figure it out.”

“Wait wait wait wait  _ what _ ?!??” Maehara asked, dumbfounded, “How could he like  _ me _ ?”

“It’s obviously the childhood friends to lovers trope!” Fuwa exclaimed, “You’ve known each other for years! It stands to reason that he’d be into  _ you _ !”

“I- uh- well- I just- I never thought that he’d like me like that before…”

“Oh please.” Rio butted in, “You know you like it.” she claimed, wiggling her eyebrows.

“I- WELL-”

“Enough enough,” Kataoka cut him off, “we’ve established that you’re at the very least bi. So go out there and get your mans!”

And with that, Maehara was kicked out of the classroom and set out on a quest to ‘get his mans’.

\- - - - -

It only took a few minutes before Maehara found Isogai in a small clearing near the entrance of the forest.

“Isogai please!”

“I’m sorry, but think about all the money I could get from this! My family would never have to worry again!”

“Isogai look at me!” Maehara snapped, grabbing his hand.

“Nobody wants you to do this. Your family would suffer if you die! They love you! We love you.” Maehara clenched his hand tighter, looking into his shocked eyes, “ _ I _ love you.”

“Maehara…”

And with that, he sealed the deal with a kiss.

\- - - - -

Later, after Isogai had properly puked up all the flowers in his system and gotten rid of the disease, Maehara and Isogai sat together in his room. Trying to determine the best way to sell the flowers.

“Ritsu said it can go for $5,000 a stem right?”

Maehara turned toward Isogai, concerned, “Yeah but on the  _ black market _ .”

“Right, right.”

“...You aren’t planning to sell them on the  **_black market_ ** are you?”

“Hmmmmmm…”

“Isogai NO-”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact: The ancient Greeks associated orchids with virility, which is defined as;  
> "(in a man) the quality of having strength, energy, and a strong sex drive; manliness"  
> Which I thought was pretty neat.
> 
> Anyways that was the fic! I hop y'all enjoyed it, and if you're interested then you can check out the rest of the works in my "Hanahaki with a twist" series.  
> Fair warning though, it's multi-fandom.
> 
> So that's all I have to say! Comments are always appreciated, and until the next time inspiration suddenly strikes hard enough for me to get off my seemingly perpetual writer's block, farewell!


End file.
